Overcoming Stigma & Shame

Overcoming Stigma & Shame

Millions of people in the US are experiencing gambling harm right now caused by their own gambling behavior, or that of a loved one.  Most of them are suffering in silence.

A big reason for that is the sense of shame and stigma that surrounds problem gambling.  Experiencing shame, guilt, remorse, and other difficult feelings are normal reactions to when our behaviors do not match our values. 

However, you do not need to suffer in silence.  That was a huge part of our motivation to build Evive in the first place!  

In this lesson, we’ll help you unpack the roots of stigma and shame related to gambling, and some strategies that can help you overcome them.

Where Do Stigma and Shame Come From?

It's important to recognize that stigma and shame often accompany problem gambling behavior, but they are natural outcomes influenced by societal perceptions and personal beliefs. 

Stigma arises from societal attitudes that portray gambling issues as a moral failing rather than a health condition, leading individuals experiencing gambling harm to feel marginalized and isolated.  This is further enhanced by the way that gambling operators frame problem gambling.

If “responsible gambling” is the right way to engage in gambling behavior, then by default, anyone experiencing gambling harm is “irresponsibly gambling”.  This puts the onus back on the individual, and disregards all of the things the gambling operator does to make gambling as accessible, addictive, and available as possible.

Shame, on the other hand, stems from internalized feelings of guilt and inadequacy, fueled by societal stigma and personal struggles. 

Moreover, shame can manifest as self-criticism, further exacerbating the cycle of problematic behavior. It's essential to recognize that shame is not a reflection of personal failure but rather a consequence of societal attitudes toward addiction.  

Understanding these dynamics can help us challenge stigma, seek support, and cultivate self-compassion on our journey to lasting change.

How to Let Go of Shame About Problem Gambling

Here are some strategies you can use to help yourself let go of shame you feel about your struggles with gambling:

Separate Behavior from Identity 

Understand that problem gambling is a behavior and does not define your identity as a person.

Practical Step: Affirmations can feel silly to say out loud at first, but they’re a powerful tool to help us change our minds. Here are a few that we think are powerful:

• I am more than my gambling

• I deserve ease and happiness

• I am stronger than my urges

Normalize Struggles 

Remember that facing challenges and seeking help are part of the human experience, and doing so when you’ve experienced gambling harm is no different.

Practical step: Read stories in the Evive Community. Post your own, or part of it. You’ll see there are so many others in it with you.

Embrace Self-Compassion 

Practice self-compassion and understanding, recognizing that shame is a natural response but not a productive one.

Practical step: Reframe a negative belief. Our friend who experienced a gambling problem did it this way:

“I’m a failure for not saving a dime throughout my 20s” → “My hardships have taught me sound financial tactics, and everything I save week-to-week is a step closer to my dream of owning a house.”

Focus on Change

Redirect your energy toward your journey, acknowledging that seeking help is a courageous step forward.

Practical Step: Check in with Evive every day.  Improve your self awareness and knowledge around gambling and behavior change.  Develop new strategies and tools that can help you achieve your goals.

It all starts with you!

Let's Reflect

Reflect on a time when you felt judged or stigmatized because of your gambling behavior. How did it affect your willingness to reach out for support?

How do you envision a future where stigma and shame surrounding problem gambling are reduced? What steps can you take to contribute to this change, both personally and within your community?

Closing Thought

Remember, the supportive and non-judgmental environment that will help you get beyond your problem gambling starts with you.  Overcoming stigma and shame starts with how you treat yourself.

By challenging stigmatizing beliefs, letting go of shame, and initiating open dialogue, you can create a space where others feel safe and supported and free to change as well.